Thieves and Fools, Part I

This column is the first installment of an ongoing series, which I'm calling: If you think your health care is my responsibility, you are a thief. If you think our health care system would be better if the government would intervene, you're a fool. This piece addresses the title's second article.

Today we've learned of a plan to levy taxes on soda pop because it's bad for you. Also, other sugary drinks will be subject. And Red Bull, Gatorade, iced tea, and anything else deemed "unhealthy" could see an excise tax, if the meddling fools in government have their way.

If unhealthy things are taxed, the notion goes, John Q. American will be less likely to indulge. Thus, a lesser burden will weigh on the nation's health care system in coming years (because fewer Jan Q. Americans will suffer with high blood pressure, diabetes and general fatness). In short, everybody wins!

Except that we all lose.

If government conjures a health care entitlement and administers Benadryl to everyone with an sniffle, it will create a corollary responsibility to monitor and, whenever possible, reduce costs of that Benadryl-distribution program. So any unhealthy, or potentially unhealthy, food and drink will be subject to far-reaching regulation.

Imagine: Sin taxes on chocolate, peanut-butter cookies, ice cream, pretzels, tomato juice, eggs, beef kept on the grill too long and butter. Excises on skydiving, unprotected sex, coffee and mayonnaise. Surcharges on cheese and 147 varieties of alcoholic beverage. Hefty fees on Spam, bologna, bacon, avocados, whole milk and cheesecake.

We can discuss whether or not participating in said items is healthy. In many cases, it is not. But no other man on earth has a legitimate moral authority to make such decisions for me.

Perhaps worse still: With the corrupt and nitwitted nature of policy-making bureaucrats, "unhealthy" and "dangerous" won't be the standard used for setting such behavior-controlling taxes. Bribery, friends in high places, irrational P.R. campaigns and mindless agency mission statements will matter far more.

Take, for instance, another story we saw today. Cheerios, a healthy foodstuff, is under threat by the Food and Drug Administration for being too healthy. Because eating that breakfast cereal will lower cholesterol (and because many people with high cholesterol want to lower it on their own, without legislated mandate), the makers advertise that it will lower cholesterol. Hence, according to the FDA, that food is therefore really a drug — and not regulated nearly enough.

This is not 'our tax dollars at work.' This is our tax dollars being burned as the fuel to power engines that are destroying us.